"It's easy to kill live people"

During some of my reading/research in one of the many horror magazines out there, I came across an article on the film Psychomania. Before I even read anything, I took one look at the bikers in the picture and asked James if he'd ever seen it. He hadn't and we were both shocked that neither of us had even heard of it before. We were immediately seduced by it's quirky charm and premise, and vowed to see it as soon as possible. Our viewing has finally occurred and we were quite enticed by what we saw.

Don Sharp directs the undeniably likeable 1973 euroshock, Psychomania (or The Death Wheelers) about "The Living Dead" biker gang who end up quite literally being just that. Tom Latham (Nicky Henson) is the leader of this fab gang, clad in embroidered leathers and some wicked matching skeleton helmets. The gang likes to pass their time playing chicken with highway motor vehiclists, driving in circles around 7 big stones (or witch burial rather) and driving through city squares and grocery stores, knocking things over.

Tom is a bad boy. He wears leather pants and has funny, Brian Jones-esque hair (Nicky Henson blames other roles for the hair but I think he dug it) and at the ripe age of 18, just isn't feeling satisfied with his life. He confesses to his girlfriend Abby, the nice one of the gang, that he wants to commit suicide and she tells him that she can't join his suicide pact because she has to help her mum with the shopping tomorrow. He also appears to have a short attention span because midway through their graveyard make-out session, he stops to snatch up a frog (and I do mean that literally). He takes it home to his mother (Beryl Reid) and her manservant Shadwell (George Sanders who ironically committed suicide before the film's release, claiming to be "bored", but sadly did not come back on a motorcycle) and tries to figure out it's relation to his family and bringing back the dead. Turns out his family are some sort of occultists and after getting trapped in a secret room in the house and having vague, frog related hallucinations, Tom learns the secret to coming back from the dead. Turns out all you have to do is really, truly believe you can come back. Hmm...why have I never thought of this? Oh yeah, and some sort of frog ornamented jewelry is also required.

Tom wastes no time in meeting his demise and drives himself off a bridge. Abby requests that his mother let the gang bury him their way, which is sitting upright on his bike in the grave (which was cool until you saw the gang out of their leather and in garish hippie attire, singing cheesy acoustic ballads and making floral wreaths). There was something about this that seemed vaguely familiar to me, that I just couldn't put my finger on. Turns out Lemmy from Motorhead must have been a fan of this film because he pays homage to it in their video for "Killed by Death". Anyway, back on point, Tom drives out of his grave, in the same perfect condition he was in before he died, hell-bent on wreaking havoc and taking lives. His gang decides to follow suit, jumping out of buildings and planes, riding in front of trucks, walking into the river donning chains and a speedo...Amazingly, only one or two chicken out right before death, even though most of their methods spare plenty of time for second thought before actually killing you. Abby however, is not so easily seduced by the idea. As the police close in on Tom and his undead comrades, Abby struggles with her will to live and her inexplicable love for Tom who, let's face it, is kind of a cold-hearted ass. She also picks the least fail-proof way to attempt to off herself. Can these evil forces be stopped or will idiotic romanticism win out?


Nicky Henson delivers a pretty solid lead as Tom, a rather spoiled and selfish outsider who just wants to live forever and mess with people as he pleases. George Sanders brought such a great sense of old-school sinister and macabre acting that made all of his scenes increasingly enjoyable. The rest of the gang all brought their own little quirks to this charming cast, each with a different, odder-looking British face than the next.


Psychomania isn't your typical film involving the undead. It isn't laden with gore and special effects, nor is it rampant with nudity or really much sexuality at all (seriously no boobs!). It instead utilizes the grainy 1970s cinematography that we know and love to set the tone of the film, with foggy moors and some simple live action stunts to the tune of an awesomely psychedelic soundtrack by John Cameron. That, paired with the colourful characters and the aforementioned bad-ass outfits, are what make this stylish biker flick a cult classic.


As for the DVD, it has some pretty informative special features that are definitely worth checking out, including an introduction by Fangoria Editor Chris Alexander, interviews with the cast, and an interview with the writer of that cheesy, hippie ballad. The film's negatives were apparently lost, so it's been taken from the best 35mm stock available, and looks pretty good.


All in all, Psychomania is a fun, stylish film that will keep you grooving and hanging on from that foggy opening scene to the utterly surreal ending. You really can't miss out on seeing "the grooviest zombie biker movie of them all!"

Watch out for Joulupukki

We finally had the pleasure of watching Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale the other night and it was well worth the wait. Having heard about it a while ago, and having watched both of the shorts, I was anxiously awaiting it and had hoped to see it before Christmas. It wasn't however, until a few nights ago that we actually managed to procure a copy with decent sound and subtitles. What we saw was definitely one of the best movies to come out of 2010.

Jalmari Helander's Finnish film Rare Exports, based off two shorts that you must see here and here, is one of the best, most original stories I have seen in a film. It's a coming of age tale about a young, odd looking boy named Pietari, growing up in the Korvantunturi mountains of Lapland. It's a land of harsh winter and tough men, where the boys are expected to be men and where little Pietari struggles to connect with his gruff, reindeer slaughtering father.

24 days before Christmas, a group of American archaeological diggers uncover the frozen grave of the real Santa Claus, which is nothing close to what you've ever imagined him to be. They are given safety instructions which include "No drinking, smoking, cursing, loitering, cavorting or arguing. Any attempt to break these rules will result in death and/or the death of your co-workers." They of course, do not follow them. Pietari believes what he overhears at the dig site and does some investigating to find out more about Santa Claus. What he finds is disturbing; an evil, horned man that does terrible things to children, resembling the classic notion of Santa in no way. He now knows that Santa is dead and senses someone watching him every night. His suspicions grow greater when their annual reindeer ration is completely slaughtered before they can get to them and only he sees the ominous bare footprint of a man in the snow.

Jumping to Christmas day, Pietari and his father wake up to find something rather unexpected in their wolf trap; a very skinny, naked old man with a long white beard. The father, along with two other men, attempt to question the man, only to discover his rather violent side. Pietari tries to explain that he came to kidnap him and when they discover that the rest of the children in the town have gone missing, as well as all the radiators and potato sacks, they believe him and set out to find them. What they find is greater and more terrifying than they expected.


There is so much beauty in the way that this film was shot. It has such a whimsical, kids movie look to it, contrasted by all the creepy imagery. You get these stunning landscape shots that look far too beautiful to be real, with snow elegantly falling and a captivating score that makes the film feel all the more epic. I also appreciate the subtlety of the CGI used in the film. It's there only for the parts that truly need it and it ties in with the cinematography style quite nicely. The film also has a certain tensity about it because at a first watch, you really don't know if it's going to get violent or not. The creepiness of all those naked Santa helpers is actually quite intense and knowing what they're capable of, you never know when something terrible could happen. I particularly love the scene where they discover that their captive isn't Santa Claus, but just one of his helpers and then hundreds of them begin appearing out the dark, each more wild and grisly looking than the next, slowing creeping out at the them.


I also really appreciated the turn that Pietari's character took towards the end of the film. He starts out as this weird, kind of timid little kid that get's pushed around a lot by his older friend. When he realizes that he's the only one who knows what to do, he takes on this commanding role and is really quite sassy! It reminded us of how kids used to act in movies from the 80s, like The Monster Squad, where they were kind of tough, not afraid to swear and genuinely more accurate to how kids really are. He becomes this brave boy, calling out orders to his elders and willing to risk his life for everyone else, and to show his father that he's a man too.


It's a really beautiful story and there's just so much to it. It's a perfect mix of horror, comedy and childhood sentimentality and nostalgia. There's also a great quirkiness to it, especially in Pietari's case. Not only is he just an all around funny looking kid, but he walks around in the blistering cold in his little blue underpants and spends most of the movie wearing a helmet and shoulder pads over his snowsuit, carrying a shotgun. It's such a contrast to the monochromatic look of all the other characters, really setting him apart. I strongly believe that North American filmmakers need to take a good look at how movies are being made in Europe, especially around Scandinavia. We shouldn't be trying to recreate these beautiful films, we should be looking at what makes them so much more unique and generally just better. They have something figured out that we clearly haven't grasped, with a few exceptions. Jalmari Helander has created a fantastically creepy and enchanting new fairytale that I plan to add to my Christmas tradition.

One-Man Agony Opus Part 2

It seems fitting that I happened to watch this film the night after watching 127 Hours. Buried shows a very different approach at a movie about one guy, in once place for the whole movie. This movie is more literally just that. All that I saw of this film prior to watching it was a teaser that just showed Ryan Reynolds in a box, lit only by the light of lighter. It was only a few seconds long and didn't say anything except the movie's title. That intrigued me.

Rodrigo Cortes' high concept thriller starring Ryan Reynolds is all about playing with space and tension, very much in the style of Hitchcock. It's even being advertised using old Hitchcock movie poster art styles, like this one to the left. Very reminiscent of the posters for Vertigo and Frenzy.

Ryan Reynolds plays Paul Conroy, an American truck driver working in Iraq who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He wakes up in your worst nightmare: buried in a box, with no recollection of how he got there. All that he has with him is a lighter, a flask, some medication for his anxiety, a couple of glow sticks and a cell phone with dwindling battery life.

He gets a call from his captor, informing him that he has 90 minutes to secure a ransom to save his own life. After a lot of frantic screaming and freaking out, he starts dialing numbers. He tries everything from 411, to his company's personnel department, to his wife multiple times, and to a woman that he clearly has some animosity towards, struggling to get anyone to help him. His frustrating conversations with people that are asking too many stupid questions and are generally unable or willing to help him, add to the tensity of the film. That felt really realistic to me because how many times have you tried dealing with people on the phone and just ended up getting nowhere? That, paired with the terrifying realization that his oxygen is running out, sand leaking in through the cracks of the box, and the increasingly angry and demanding phone calls from his captor, make his situation all the more unbearable.


What was most effective about this film was the simplicity of the way it was shot. It's literally just Paul in the box, the only light coming from either his lighter, his cell phone, or one of the glow sticks that he found in there with him. There are no flahsbacks or shots of anyone outside of the box which really keeps you in there with him. That was what disappointed me about 127 Hours, and seeing how this film was done right afterwards proved how much more effective it can be. Sure, it's nice to show what beautiful shots you can do but if you really want to make your audience feel the tension and feel for what it's like to be trapped with your main character, this is the way to do it. I think it proves how effective a film can be by being small. With just a couple of boxes, with interchanging panels that can be taken out, depending on the camera angle, you get your whole set. Pair that with some colour filters and some plays on perspective and you have some really effective, and still beautiful shots. I remember reading somewhere that Ryan Reynolds had a day where he finally broke down after filming for so long in such enclosed spaces, and who could blame him. That must have really helped to get the role down for him though and his panic, frustrations and desperaty were convincing.

It's not an easy feat to make a 90 minute film like this that will keep your attention and though I may have gotten a little bit distracted in the beginning, there is a good amount of suspense and intensity more towards the end. I do think that the ending of this film was very fitting and really the only one that would make sense. It's a rare case to find a film with a good story and a good ending to match. Plus, it brought an even more physical horror to being buried alive. Oh yeah, and this film does have it's own moment of self-mutilation, though nowhere nearly as gruelling or horrible as cutting part of an arm off, it was still alright. Though I don't think it was a particularly outstanding performance in a particularly outstanding film, I think that it was good for what it was and quite effective. It offers a commentary on America's role in Iraq without jamming it down our throats which I appreciated. It's a very dirty, vulnerable and real feeling movie that anyone who enjoys a good suspense film should give a watch. Plus it was good to see Ryan Reynolds in such an up close and personal, serious role.

One-Man Agony Opus Part 1

The theme of my recent movie watching would appear to be films starring one guy, trapped in some sort of enclosed space, suffering, and having to cut off a body part. I swear it was accidental that I happened to watch Buried and 127 Hours in short succession. To start off, I finally got around to seeing 127 Hours the other night. I had been wanting to see it for a while because I had heard so much about it, and it's directed by Danny Boyle and I may have a certain fondness for James Franco...Anyway, I'm still a little unsure about how much I really liked it, maybe because it's more a film to endure, not necessarily like.

127 Hours follows the gruelling, true story of Aron Ralston, who in 2003, while canyoneering in Blue John Canyon in Utah, got his arm immovably trapped under a boulder. He had ventured out alone, not telling anyone where he was going, and after 5 days stuck in the canyon, he was forced to do the unthinkable: cut part of his arm off with an extremely dull knife. It's a film about us seeing how close we are to the animal, a topic Danny Boyle knows a thing or two about.

James Franco makes up most of the film, aside from two girls he runs into before he gets trapped and if you watched a preview for the movie, you basically saw their entire part in the film. The only other people you see, occur in Aron's constant flashbacks and, in my opinion, the somewhat cheesy ending. I guess it's kind of impossible to avoid the cheesy factor when making an inspirational movie though. Either that or I'm just an insensitive jerk, which may also be true. Having said that, Danny Boyle was faced with somewhat of a challenge in making this film. One could easily get bored of watching one man stuck in a canyon, especially when we all know what is inevitably going to happen. He uses lots of flashy, split screen images of striking scenic footage, memories, dreams and delusions to keep you interested. However, I felt that for me, it took away the tension of the scenario, making the majority of the film unimpactful. I certainly didn't get teary when he was freed in end and I think the only part of the movie that got any kind of emotional response from me was the amputation scene.

I did think that James Franco did a great job and I feel that the style of visuals used were much more effective in the beginning, before he gets trapped. They helped to amplify his smug, extreme and uninhibited character when he starts his journey, and made you feel like you were in his head. You then see him transition into a scared and mentally strained man, fighting to keep his sanity,while capable of carving his own headstone in the rock wall. You witness as he tries to keep up his good humor in a loopy talk-show interview he does with himself, only to be crushed by the realization of the hopelessness of his situation. I felt like his performance was real and unsentimental, whereas Danny Boyle's imagery was trying to push sentimentality on the viewers.


What perhaps drew me to this movie the most was how graphic I had heard the amputation scene was. Though it didn't actually show you that much, I still was not disappointed. I admit that having heard many similar stories such as this one, involving cutting off one of your own limbs, I myself have spent some time thinking about what that would be like. Anything I have ever pictured paled in comparison to what was shown in this film. You really don't realize how horrible each moment of it would be until you see it like this. It starts with Aron having to break the bones in his arm, which is enough to make you cringe already. But then, just getting that crappy, dull knife through his flesh, which he had been further dulling over the last couple of days by attempting to chip away at the rock, was an even worse stuggle. He then had to resort to tearing at his own flesh with his fingers and in what was probably the worst part of it all, tearing the main nerve. The sort of white noise sound effects used in this part are excruciating and really make you feel the horror of that moment. I can't even begin to think about how that would feel. If nothing else about this movie really stayed with me, that part did.


In the end, I understand why Danny Boyle made this movie in the way that he did. It makes sense for the kind of story that it is. I'm sure that I'm probably in the minority of people who weren't so easily effected by the somewhat preachy, emotion grabbing aspect of the film, but I just felt that it at times seemed like the film was trying a little too hard to push the message at me. All that aside, the cinematography of the film was stunning and James Franco proved, yet again, that he is a very talented and versatile actor.


Next up, Buried. Ryan Reynolds is not quite James Franco...

Exploitation Film of the Month

I decided that James and I should start off the new year with a new tradition. Every month, we will venture over to our favourite video store and buy some sort of trashy, exploitation movie to watch and add to our collection. He had mentioned how he wanted to own more of them so I thought that this would be an easy way to start, especially since we aren't made of money. I got the first one and after reading the description on the back, I knew we had to see it. So our inaugural Exploitation FOTM is: In the Folds of the Flesh

Director Sergio Bergonzelli's In the Folds of the Flesh has been labeled one of the most over-the-top movies in the Giallo genre and within the first 10 minutes of the film, you can easily see why. I don't think I have ever been so confused while watching a movie, and I like a lot of weird movies. The whole point of this film seemed to be to try to throw as many plot twists and turns as possible at you, so that you can never guess what's going to happen and by the end of it, you don't really care anymore. I suppose it shouldn't be surprising that the script makes no sense when the writing credits include two different screenplays as well as two "ideas"...Right.



The basic plot of the movie is this: The film stars a family that is comprised of a clearly troubled mother and her incestuous son and daughter who like to get it on out in the open. At the beginning of the film you see what appears to be a younger version of the daughter cutting off her father's head after he rapes her. The mother then tries to cover up the act and a thief on the run happens to stumble onto their property and see the mother burying the body. Cut to 10 years later and you get this: the family receives an unexpected male guest; the guest makes sexual advances towards the daughter (and usually the brother gets jealous and does the same); either the daughter accepts and then murders the guest or the brother murders them; the daughter starts going crazy and calling all the murdered guests "Daddy"; the mother and son destroy the evidence; the mother looks freaked out. That scenario occurs at least 3 times during the film, or at least that's where I stopped counting. As these murders occur, we start to learn more and more about what really happened that night and that's where it all starts to make absolutely no sense. Was it really the father that raped the daughter? Is the father really dead? Is the there another daughter who is insane? Does anyone actually know what's going on?

As if all that weren't enough, when the mother and son go to kill the theif, they use some of the mother's convenient, secret stash of cyanide. She knows they will work because she has seen them work before...in a Nazi death camp of course! This leads to a hilarious flashback and probably the sleaziest scene of the movie. It shows (in black and white of course) a bunch of naked women being ushered into the showers. A young version of the mother, with the biggest and bounciest boobs of them all, is spared by a Nazi officer, probably so that he can use her for sex, and is forced to watch her family die. Of course, there are big windows that you can see in through to the showers and she persists to run towards them in hysterics. The rest of the flashback is basically her jumping up and down and crying in front of the glass, giant boobs bouncing away, as her family inside scratch at the glass and eventually fall down and die. It basically makes one big joke out of Nazi death camps and shows the most nudity in the whole film. Ridiculous! Oh yeah, and these flashbacks are intercut with shots of the fat thief, furiously splashing about in the bathtub. And you mustn't forget the pet turkey vultures, sexy 8-track poetry that causes the siblings to very nearly get it on in front of everyone in the dining room, the murder of a dog, the daughter's very odd attachment to her blonde wig, and then fact that they live in what appears to be a castle on an archaeological site and keep all of the old bones on display in their house. Thoroughly confused now? Me too.


Though yes, you could say that the erratic and fractured nature of the film reflects the damaged and utterly confused mind of it's main characters...I'd still say it's just too damn convoluted and nonsensical to be that deep. Nonetheless, In the Folds of the Flesh is worth a watch so you can see truly excessive, lurid Giallo filmmaking in it's possibly most absurd example. As confusing as it is, the pacing is actually quite rapid and it's full of all sorts of fun visuals and ultra cheesy gore. If you're a fan of the genre and like Argento, Fulci and Bava, then you should check this one out for the fun of it.

Besides watching the above, we've indulged in some of our recent purchases, Return of the Living Dead 2, Scanners, and Blood for Dracula (a birthday gift from James). We also watched Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole as well which I really enjoyed. The animation was beautiful and the owls were so cute! And this little baby owl makes me want to explode when I look at it!

"I was perfect..."

We thought it would be a great idea to spend New Years Day at the movies, seeing two films that I really wanted to see before my holidays were over: Black Swan and True Grit. We didn't really consider the fact that everyone else in the city thought about doing that exact same thing. All the hungover stragglers from the night before came to the theater to eat junk (and apparently barf in bathroom sinks) and relax at a movie. Needless to say, we didn't manage our second feature. We did get to see Black Swan though, which was my priority, so I came away pleased nonetheless. I've been wanting to see this film for months, anxiously awaiting it's release to theaters, and I definitely was not disappointed.


Director Darren Aronofsky has truly triumphed with his beautiful nightmare, Black Swan. Natalie Portman stars as Nina, a timid and sheltered ballerina in New York who gets her shot at stardom when her director Tomas Leroy(the always great supporting actor Vincent Cassel) casts her as both the Swan Queen and the Black Swan in his stripped-down, retelling of Swan Lake. Her perfectionism and purity make the role of the White Swan effortless to her but she struggles to capture the dark intensity and sexuality of the Black Swan. It doesn't help that Nina is trapped living with her overly protective and virtually insane mother who is living vicariously through her, reveling over giving up her own career as a ballerina to be a parent. I loved the tensity of all the shots in the apartment with her mother. I never cringed so much at seeing someone angrily snip at someone's nails before. It was fantastic!

Then, as Tomas pushes every boundary possible to get Nina to let go and properly embody the Black Swan, Nina is faced with a rivalry and twisted friendship from Lily (Mila Kunis), a laid back and wild dancer who conveys more passion and ability to be the Black Swan that Tomas is looking for. Is Lily really after friendship or is she out to steal Nina's role? A scene that has gotten perhaps more attention than the beauty of this film itself, is the steamy sex scene between these two characters. When you have actresses as beautiful as these two, it's hard not to dwell on that scene. But what really gets this movie going and makes it tense and unique, are the hallucinations and parallels between reality and Nina's personal demons. She's constantly seeing things that aren't there, some more gruesome than others, and it slowly drives her into a false sense of reality and identity. She sees herself committing acts that may or may not be real and physically morphing into the swan she is so desperate to properly embody.




I loved the creative and beautifully done make-up effects, like the itchy goose flesh wound on her back that begins to sprout feathers, and the prosthetic change-o-head with a neck that stretches during a scene where Nina strangles herself. There were also some nasty looking wounds on Winona Ryder for her hospital scenes that I loved, and numerous stages of red contact lenses that made her transformation so much more effective.The beautiful and enthralling camera work by cinematographer Matthew Libatique dances and glides with the actors onscreen and adds such an amazing sense of realism. I loved how it was paired with subtle touches, like the sort of bird-like flapping noises used when groups of dancers would go by during Nina's peak of hallucination. That paired with the wonderful performance of the actors, Portman in particular, make the film feel so hauntingly real and gets you emotionally involved with Nina and her spiraling reality. She displays such a softness as Nina in the beginning that makes you immediately feel for her and then embraces Nina's descent into darkness with such grace and sadness. As she mentally morphs (and briefly physically onscreen) into the Black Swan during her opening night performance, you notice such an amazing change in her attitude and dancing that is so haunting to watch. The role felt like it was made for Natalie Portman to play.


Aronofsky is able to bring together the elements of female sexuality, compulsion, obsession, identity crisis and the psychological horror elements of films like Repulsion, Jacob's Ladder, Suspiria and others of the 60s and 70s into such a captivating, devastatingly beautiful movie, both visually and emotionally. I can definitely say that this film is at the top of my list of favourite movies of 2010. And since I got James to download it as soon as we got home, I think I just may go watch it again now.

"This SISTER IS ONE BAD MOTHER..."

A new glory is awash upon us! James just purchased a 2 terabyte hard drive and we're a little bit overcome with the joy and boundless possibilities it presents us right now. The main reason being that so many more movies can be downloaded and stored for us to watch! In celebration, James was going through some movies he wanted to grab when he came across this exploitation gem Nude Nuns with Big Guns. When you come across a title like that, you really can't just ignore it.

Director Joseph Guzman's nunspoliation centers around Sister Sarah's embark into becoming a nun which turns sour when she's forced into the seedy underbelly of a Mexican drug ring. Naked nuns are forced to process and package drugs for the church which are then sold to outlaw biker gang, Los Muertos. When some drugs get stolen, the leader of the gang, Chavo, kills some of the nuns and uses Sister Sarah to cover the loss, forcing her into drug use and submission at his strip joint/brothel. After an overdose and beating from a not so gentle client, Sister Sarah receives a message from God telling her that he has a plan for her, which is to seek vengeance upon all those who have wronged her. She then sets off with an arsenal of badass guns to do God's work and kick some ass. After some priest slaying, the church hires Los Muertos to track down and kill her, and they realize that they're in for a little more than they bargained for because this SISTER IS ONE BAD MOTHER!


Oh yeah, did I mention the lesbian subplot? You see, she was punished for her carnal, lesbian lust by the church, keeping her torn between her devotion to the lord and her love for Sister Angelina. Although Sister Sarah's tough girl performance often felt a little contrived to me, I quickly forgave her when I saw her in action, shooting up the corrupt members of the clergy and gang. The men of this movie do a very convincing job of being completely depraved, misogynistic and just downright horrible pigs who think of women as nothing but bitches or "putas". That makes their demise in this film all the more satisfying, in true grindhouse fashion. Though there are plenty of strippers doing their thing for our viewing pleasure, I enjoyed the fact that the nuns, though naked as they were, didn't look anything like the strippers. Some were in fact not very attractive at all, Sister Angelina in particular, which made the movie feel less cheap to me. An exploitation film obviously needs some hot naked girls and we all enjoy that, but it's good to see some less gratuitous rolls, especially with main characters. It just makes it more realistic and gritty. That, paired with the stunning filters of the movie, made it look pretty authentic and much like an old Mexican telenovela, only with lots of blood!

Overall, I thought that this was a pretty good Grindhouse feature, what with all the stunts, nudity and satisfying blood splatter. Obviously this isn't a movie of much standard and most people would look at it as being a piece of shit but hey, it's a Grindhouse flick, it's supposed to be like that. Oh yeah, and it is called Nude Nuns with Big Guns so if you're expecting something more, then perhaps you're not reading properly.


Oh yeah, Happy New Years, blah blah blah. My New Years Eve consisted of eating turkey pot pie (thanks to a butt load of Christmas leftovers), drinking beer, and destroying everyone in Monopoloy whilst watching two wonderful movies: A Clockwork Orange and Bronson. Quiet and relaxing. Oh and the best part is, I didn't waste any of my money and no hangover. Muahaha.

"Cats or Death!!"

My boyfriend James and I were both graced with the wonder of Videomatica gift certificates this year. We ventured over there yesterday, conveniently only a few blocks from where we live, with the hope and anticipation of buying up some cult trash or horror of some kind. We were successful. It was a little bit overwhelming because there was so much to choose from and so much that we wanted! I settled for a copy of Caligula because it's so sleazy and wonderful and yet I'm not sure I could justify spending my own money on it when there are things of perhaps better quality to purchase. I am quite pleased to have it though. I also picked up a copy of Cronos from the genius Guillermo Del Toro and The Slime City Grindhouse Collection which I can't wait to watch. I remember reading about Slime City in Fangoria and was allured by the brightly coloured gore. Oh yes, and I also picked up a $3 copy of Rhinoceros Eyes because I like Michael Pitt and it's and odd film that takes place inside a prop storage house. James picked up a movie called The Carrier from 1988 which brings me to the main purpose of this entry.


James and I are both typically drawn to virus related films so we thought we'd give this one a shot. The film centers around an outcast boy named Jake living in a small religious town called Sleepy Rock. Jake gets attacked one night by some strange Big Foot/Sasquatch type monster that disintegrates into vague smokiness when he shoots and kills it. This leaves him with a strange plague that infects everything he touches, resulting in a quick and of course smokey death for anyone else's touch.

The first and perhaps best result of this is a man nearly dying from holding a copy of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. This spreads panic throughout the town as everyday objects, tables, mirrors and even nature become infected and deadly to the touch. These objects are then marked with red ribbon and the townspeople fashion some new digs with veils, towel wraps and garbage bags and clear plastic covering every inch of them.

A rivalry soon forms between those with the black garbage bags, being the more hooligan type members of the town, and those with the white, being the religious and family-oriented folks. A fight over cats then leads to some gruesome deaths, including the accidental death of a child in the forest. You see, the virus only effects living tissue and since there is apparently such an abundance of barn cats in their town, they are needed to test areas for infection. My favourite part of the movie is when a member of the "black" gang shouts his battle cry "CATS OR DEATH!" and raging chaos ensues. Poor kitties.

The movie starts taking a lot of confusing, allegorical turns that generally just don't make a lot of sense. Amidst all of this, Jake is struggling with the knowledge that he is the carrier and will be killed by the angry mob if they find out. He only has his female companion, who generally just spouts off awkward lines that don't always make a lot of sense, to confide in. And on top of all of this, random plot lines are thrown in during the movie that aren't fully explained and seem just a bit ridiculous. Like how apparently the whole town killed his parents for a very poorly explained reason, causing him to become an outcast and thinking that he had done it himself...whaaaaaat?
What could have been a good movie with a really interesting idea was demolished by horrible script writing, absurd and convoluted plot lines and what was obviously a very, very small budget. The beginning of the movie actually felt like we had started watching it about half way through. The story started out confusing enough and the inane dialogue didn't do much to help it. Despite this film never really realizing its full potential, it still manages to grab you and make you want to keep watching. I saw that someone referred to it as a mix of Twin Peaks and The Crazies and I can definitely see that. And hey, at least we have an entertaining movie to watch now and then and I'll definitely toss it at someone without explanation, just to see what they think of it.

The Return

Well at last it seems that I have made my return to this blog. Thanks to the glory of Christmas I now have my own laptop which makes keeping up with this a lot easier. I now feel free to post about movies and music and all the neat finds I like to buy. In my last post I talked a bit about some movies that I had been watching and I think that since the year is almost over, it would be rather fitting to post a bigger list. I've been trying to make a note of all the movies that I've been watching throughout the year and I think it's pretty comprehensive. It has been a crazy year, what with graduating from the VFS Make-up program, getting an FX job and basically moving out of my mom's house, so I may have missed a few along the way. Well here it is anyway, in all it's glory.

Halloween II
The Slammin Salmon
Night of the Living Dead (original 1968)
Dawn of the Dead (original 1978)
Day of the Dead (original 1980s)
Land of the Dead
Malice in Wonderland (we tried and gave up on it)
A Serious Man
Adaptation
Defendor
Extract
Grotesque
Harry Brown
Inside
Law Abiding Citizen
The Boat that Rocked
The Road
The Descent 2
The Fourth Kind
Up in the Air
Whip It
Cabin Fever 2
Dead Snow
Diagnosis Death
Frequently Asked Questions about Time Travel
Eden Lake
Jennifer's Body
Last House on the Left (original and remake)
Antichrist
The House of the Devil
The Sinful Dwarf
The Square
Waltz With Bashir
The Thing
Zombieland
The Mighty Boosh (season 1 - 3)
REC
The Baker
Cadavres
Fido
Feast
Just Buried
Kicking & Screaming
The Orphanage
Pontypool
Quarantine
Teeth
Trick R Treat
The Unborn
The Host
Thriller
Visioneers
The Cell
The Human Centipede
Call of Cthulhu
Repo Men
Orgazmo
Peacock
Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl
The Horde
Sauna
Taxidermia
The Haunted World of El Superbeasto
Necromentia
Inside
Leaves of Grass
Ken Park
Dreams in the Witch House
Bronson
The Signal
The Crazies (2010)
Plague Town
The brood
Demons 1& 2
Valhalla Rising
Date Night
I Spit on Your Grave
Carriers
Irreversible
A Serbian Film
The Beyond
Piranha
Scott Pilgrim
Dinner for Schmucks
The Disappearance of Alice Creed
Salo
Splice
Valhalla Rising
Moon
Operation: Endgame
Suck
Dark House
The Limits of Control
Deadgirl
Bug
Girlfriend Experience
Terribly Happy
Afterlife
I love you Phillip Morris
MacGruber
Shortbus
Catfish
Machete
Return of the Living Dead
Isolation
High Tension
Halloween
May
The Monster Squad
Evil
Micmacs
Four Lions
Robin Hood
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original)
Pandorum
Puppet Master
The Fair Haired Child
The Fly 2
Caligula
Red
Winnebago Man
C.H.U.D
From Beyond
The Sentinal
American Grindhouse
Lets Scare Jessica to Death
Predators
Splinter
Centurion
Survival of the Dead
The Piano Teacher
Doghouse
Enter the Void
Gentlemen Broncos
Necrosis
The Slumber Party Massacre
Lust for a Vampire
Lo
Crash (Cronenberg)
Cronos
Be Kind Rewind
Shutter
Crash (Cronenberg)
I'll Sleep When I'm Dead
Dead End
The Uninvited
To Die For
Watchmen
Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation
Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated
Sleepaway Camp
Nói
Tokyo Godfathers
Le Combat Dans L'Ile
Timber Falls
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
How to Train Your Dragon

So that would be at least 157 movies that I kept track of watching in 2010, the most recent ones starting from the bottom up, and I know there were more. It's a long list to look at so I hope to narrow it down into sections and reviews from now on but there it is anyway. Not bad!

I will leave you with this image of Vincent Price from the Masque of the Red Death cover, one of my favourite cover art illustrations.